{"id":38,"date":"2012-01-11T17:32:10","date_gmt":"2012-01-11T22:32:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.meghirshberg.com\/blog\/?p=38"},"modified":"2012-02-01T06:53:08","modified_gmt":"2012-02-01T11:53:08","slug":"interview-with-eileen-fisher","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.meghirshberg.com\/blog\/2012\/01\/interview-with-eileen-fisher\/","title":{"rendered":"Interview with Eileen Fisher"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Eileen<\/a>

Eileen Fisher is the founder and Chief Creative Officer of Eileen Fisher, a line of relaxed but elegant women\u2019s clothing and accessories. Eileen founded her company in 1984. She has 900 employees, with 54 stores in 18 states. She has two college-aged children.<\/p><\/div>\n

Eileen Fisher on keeping priorities straight; on finding balance with her work; on what \u201cquality time\u201d really means; on the distinction between passion and addiction, and why business is like love.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Q:\u00a0 Why do you think there\u2019s not more discussion about the intersection of work and family?<\/p>\n

A: Entrepreneurs aren\u2019t asked these questions.\u00a0 There\u2019s this driven-ness, this hyper-focus.\u00a0 If you\u2019d asked me these kinds of questions 15 years ago they would have overwhelmed me. I was so in the thick of it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Q:\u00a0 You didn\u2019t have time to stop and consider how the business was affecting your family?<\/p>\n

A:\u00a0 For me the business was such a passion, such an obsession.\u00a0 There was so much good in it.\u00a0 It drove me, it was exciting, fun, happening, like a wild horse pulling me. I couldn\u2019t get off.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I felt confident as a business person and as a designer.\u00a0 When I found design, it was a place I felt good about myself, a place I could succeed. My personal life was harder.\u00a0 Thinking about what I wanted for my life, besides work, was hard for me.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t really able to focus on my needs.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t confident as a woman, as a human being.\u00a0 People and relationships\u2014that was murky for me.\u00a0 I got married at 38, very quickly.\u00a0 My business was going crazy, but I knew I wanted to get married and have kids.\u00a0 The clock was ticking.\u00a0 Here I was in my mid-thirties, with no family. I met my husband at a boutique show and I thought, this could work.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Q:\u00a0 Did your focus on the business mean that you didn\u2019t stop to focus on the relationship with your husband?<\/p>\n

A:\u00a0 Definitely.\u00a0 For the moment it felt right, and I didn\u2019t understand how much work and focus a relationship required. Then I was pregnant and had my son, and I was trying to run the business.\u00a0 My husband had stores in Ithaca, and we were back and forth. I was trying to rein in this galloping horse of a business and stay anchored.\u00a0 It was exciting.\u00a0 I was operating the business partly out of my home and partly out of the office in New York.\u00a0 A few years later I had my daughter.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Q:\u00a0 I\u2019ve heard a similar reflection from many entrepreneurs:\u00a0 they understand that creating a successful business takes a lot of imagination, attention, and just plain work.\u00a0 But they never really understood that this other huge, equally complex thing in their lives\u2014their relationships\u2014take an equivalent commitment.<\/p>\n

A:\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 Today I spend more time thinking about my kids than I do my business.\u00a0 My priorities are different.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Q: What caused you to change your priorities?<\/p>\n

A:\u00a0 A combination of things. I got divorced.\u00a0 9\/11 was also a wakeup call.\u00a0 What am I doing?\u00a0 You hear the word balance so much.\u00a0 When my kids were young, I tried to do certain things\u2014read to them, have dinner with them every night.\u00a0 But I didn\u2019t really understand how to connect with them.\u00a0 My business was going crazy.\u00a0 I was making huge, million-dollar purchasing decisions\u2014and then going home to feed the baby?\u00a0 I had deadlines, I was running around doing exciting things, or on the phone, or reading reports, and somehow stopping all that to play with dolls was confusing to me.\u00a0 I felt like I didn\u2019t know how to do it. The hardest thing was really being present for my kids. Some of my son\u2019s first words were \u201ccrinkle rayon.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s kind of funny, but also sad.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I was unsatisfied with my life, and overwhelmed with work.\u00a0 Divorce was an answer, but also a nightmare, with the kids going back and forth. My daughter was four when my husband and I divorced.\u00a0 There was a lot of confusion, but I was happier.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Later I got more anchored.\u00a0 The divorce helped in that way. I got time for myself, time to think.\u00a0 I started meditating, doing yoga, and going on retreats in my downtime.\u00a0 It was great to finally have time for myself.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Q:\u00a0 if you were advising a young female entrepreneur who wanted to build a rocking business and have a family at the same time, what would you advise her? \u00a0What would have made it better or easier for you?<\/p>\n

A:\u00a0 I would say, do things to anchor yourself, and to keep your priorities straight.\u00a0 Make sure your most important relationships stay on top.\u00a0 And take care of yourself.\u00a0 When I didn\u2019t do that, it was chaos.\u00a0 What changed my life was when I started meditating. That worked for me.\u00a0 Do something that helps you to reflect, and to become and remain conscious of what matters most to you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I would also say, be present where you are.\u00a0 It comes down to that.\u00a0 When you\u2019re with your kids, be with your kids.\u00a0 I\u2019ve become practiced at it.\u00a0 People talk about quality time, but I think it\u2019s bigger than quality.\u00a0 It\u2019s about the quality of the presence we bring. Some people do it much more naturally.<\/strong><\/p>\n

For an entrepreneur, work is very exciting.\u00a0 You get pulled into things. You think you\u2019re painting a masterpiece.\u00a0 You get lost in the artwork.\u00a0 You have to remember that while there are some times to get lost in the creative process, it\u2019s not so many times compared to how important it is to keep your spouse, yourself, and your family on the top of the list.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Q:\u00a0 How did you find this balance, at your growing company?<\/p>\n

When my kids were in middle school, I started coming home at 3 pm 3 days a week. I realized that I could get the most important things done between 9 and 3 every day. I would guard my time:\u00a0 this conversation\u2019s going on too long; I can delegate this or that; I don\u2019t have to do this; what\u2019s the big picture here, what do I need to decide? I sorted my priorities and organized my time better.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Q:\u00a0 Could you have been this crisp in the start-up years?\u00a0 Even if your head had been there, could you have limited your time this way?\u00a0 Or are there some phases in the life of a business when it always wins?<\/p>\n

A:\u00a0 That\u2019s a great question.\u00a0 In my case, the business did win in the early years.\u00a0 But I think it is possible to have a family in a healthy way and create a really thriving business at the same time. It takes a certain kind of energy.\u00a0 There will be times you have to throw yourself into the business.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s important to have a good support system for those times, have a supportive partner, and be aware of when you have to let go. \u00a0There were key times\u2014weeks\u2014when the line had to come together.\u00a0 If I just had just given myself to the business during those times, but remembered my priorities the other times, that would have made all the difference.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The problem was, I couldn\u2019t find that line between passion and obsession very well.\u00a0 I think with the awareness I have now, I could do that. Business is addicting.\u00a0 The addicting part is not what makes it good.\u00a0 The passion is what makes it good. It\u2019s like love.\u00a0 Love is a good thing, but when it turns into obsession\u2014when you have to be with that person all the time\u2014it\u2019s not healthy.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Q:\u00a0 Your description of coming home from a frenetic life at work and having difficulty adjusting to the rhythm of children was poignant. You couldn\u2019t figure out how that was important, compared to dealing with all the crises at work.\u00a0 Work challenges are concrete.\u00a0 The rewards of giving yourself at home are more fungible, hard to define, and our society doesn\u2019t offer the same respect for that kind of focus and attention.\u00a0 I understand your confusion about where that fit in, on the scale of importance.<\/p>\n

And it\u2019s hard for women to forgive ourselves for that confusion.<\/p>\n

A:\u00a0 A lot of friends tell me that I have to forgive myself, for those early years.\u00a0 Women do punish themselves, but also they have a willingness to look at what\u2019s past and reflect, on what can I do now?\u00a0 It sounds like I\u2019m beating myself up, but I\u2019m also looking at it differently.\u00a0 I behave differently now.\u00a0 Attending to your kids in their twenties still has a huge impact on their lives.\u00a0 With my ex-husband too\u2014our relationship has healed. I reflect not so much on what might have been, but more about what were the pieces that didn\u2019t line up right, what didn\u2019t get put in place that can be put in place now?\u00a0 I have another chance with my kids, and I\u2019m on it.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Eileen Fisher on keeping priorities straight; on finding balance with her work; on what \u201cquality time\u201d really means; on the distinction between passion and addiction, and why business is like love. Q:\u00a0 Why do you think there\u2019s not more discussion about the intersection of work and family? A: Entrepreneurs aren\u2019t asked these questions.\u00a0 There\u2019s this driven-ness, this hyper-focus.\u00a0 If you\u2019d asked me these kinds of questions 15 years ago they would have overwhelmed me. I was so in the thick of it. Q:\u00a0 You didn\u2019t have time to stop and consider how the business was affecting your family? A:\u00a0 For me the business was such a passion, such an obsession.\u00a0 There was so much good in it.\u00a0 It drove me, it was exciting, fun, happening, like a wild horse pulling me. I couldn\u2019t get off.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":39,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22,20,10,25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-38","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-children-and-business","category-creating-work-life-boundaries","category-interviews","category-the-entrepreneurial-personality"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.meghirshberg.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.meghirshberg.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.meghirshberg.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.meghirshberg.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.meghirshberg.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=38"}],"version-history":[{"count":37,"href":"http:\/\/www.meghirshberg.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":496,"href":"http:\/\/www.meghirshberg.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38\/revisions\/496"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.meghirshberg.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/39"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.meghirshberg.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.meghirshberg.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=38"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.meghirshberg.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=38"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}